And Now For Something Completely Different.

For those of you expecting some Python, sorry - this is going to be the direct opposite of that. Think in the style of "classic" Soupy Toasterson, and you'll be in the ballpark.

This is What I Remember

It's been what. Six weeks now? More? I don't know. It actually probably depends on when we stopped lying, and really stopped talking to each other. Because there was a difference. There was that time we said good-bye, and then continued to stalk each other through other contacts. And then, there was that time where we got so angry at each other, that we kept talking to each other just to spite the other person. And then, there was the time that we finally dropped everything on the table - our history, our present, our future - and left it all behind for good. I don't know about you, but I think that's the real day everything ended - mostly because I immediately spent the next several moments ridding my life of things that reminded me of you.

The green sparkle pen, the pictures of years-gone-by on the computer, the notes on grid paper, the two real pictures that I had of you, the play lists I made for you...

I was surprised by how little time it took to gather up over five years and pack it away. But whatever. That's still how it happened.

And after I did that, the most amazing thing started happening. You started to fade. The things you liked to say, the way you used to laugh, the way you'd act as though you caught me when you caught me just... looking at you. All that. I started to realize that those memories were becoming much fuzzier around the edges - as if they hadn't really existed at all, fabrications of my own little mind.

And soon, that's probably what I'll think they were. Memories of things that never could have happened. I mean, really. In so many years, will I believe that I felt so strongly for you, when I don't even remember what you look like, what you sound like? And when I see you again - if I see you again - and you're this completely different person, with this completely different life, it'll only prove me right. The you in my head - she never existed. That wonderful person, that girl who could make me smile just by paying the littlest amount of attention to me... all just some cruel ruse my head decided would be funny.

But of course, I'll still remember that time in my life as if it were real. It'll just never, ever feel like it did. But what can you do? Life goes on...

Stay tuned.

-B.